The main reason I am starting this blog is that I no longer have people to tell my thoughts and troubles too. I will writing posts to vent and get my thoughts and feelings out. I want to remain completely anonymous and the places and people and events that I might talk about in my posts I will change the names so they are not recognizable and thereby, not linked to me. Even my user name is a jubbled up real user name that I normally use!
Although, I will give a slight background on me. I am female, in the 30 – 50 age range, unemployed, bankrupt and not happy with my life at most times. This could be many people so I can keep my cover. 
My purpose of this blog is for me to have somewhere to come to write down all the crap and makes me upset and frustrates me on a daily basis – so most of it probably won’t be all fun and happy. Some days I will write super long ones because I tend to ramble and I type super fast and others days there will be nothing or something short and it might be boring sometimes and interesting at others.
And yes, before you wonder if I am bitch, I am a nice person the kind you would want as a friend and I used to have a friend to tell all my troubles too (not that she always listened to well because she always wanted to talk about herself instead of listen)- well, what happened you ask? The friend got married and had kids and than decided she couldn’t communicate with her unmarried kidless friends anymore. Well, lets get something straight ex-best friend – I didn’t change, YOU did! Good riddance to you then.
But onto my blog: I feel like I am starting in the middle of a book or something because it is weird to starting writing about things that happen to me when a person that might be reading about it might not understand it all because they don’t know everything about me. But, oh well, I have no choice but to start it this way. I thought the idea of keeping a diary when I was a little girl was weird – I never knew what to write in it so it – or actually more like I was scared the people I wrote about it would find it and read it! Eeek!
So, I will just start with what is bothering me today. I am wondering why people are not dependable or reliable anymore. Right now, a big promise that was made to me is potentially being broken and I can tell you are pissed! Without giving away too many personal details, I am taking an online class and I need to do a certain type of project for it which means my grade is hanging in the balance. So basically, the person who is breaking the promise is has something I need to do my project. I can’t do my project until this person does their part! There is nothing worse than feeling like you have no control over a situation. I can only do so much here and I feel powerless. I hate to have to depend on others to get my crap done. The person breaking the promise is one I am offering something free too (which is the school project) they were really excited about it but I need info from them to start it and I am already behind and now I can’t get in touch with them – it is like I am being blown off or ignored which I hate! I swear, they get a few more days and they lose the free service I offered. I am going to damned if this person is gonna screw up my grade! Unfortunately, I am way behind on this already (not because of me but because I have to wait on other people) and I don’t know where else I will be able to get this project done.
I, myself am a very reliable and dependable person – the kind of friend who is always there on moving day when the others have flaked out on you. I am having a hard time fathoming how in the high tech world of today where people can communicate from anywhere and our lives should apparently be so much easier and free up more free time – how people still can’t be organized and dependable. If all these modern conveniences are supposed to make our lives easier and less cluttered to apparently give us more time enjoy our “real lives” why so people seem busier than ever? It really is unbelievable to me. Or maybe I am just more highly organized than others but I wonder if other people see this or is it just me?
Tags: frustration, pissed, undependable, unreliable
